To My Grandfather

Time,

straight by nature,

made circular by our hands.

 

Man could not stand to progress always

into an unknown void of time

so bent the line

around and around upon itself

always spiraling upwards towards eternity.

But we always pass the same place twice,

three times, five times,

all the times it takes

to kill us

 

I cannot see a Christmas dinner without you

I cannot see the trees in bloom without thinking

of a walk we took long ago

I cannot hope to make it through this week,

though I have made many laps of it before,

and stepped on this stone many times.

but this time is different,

a little bit higher

a little bit farther away from you.

 

I have a blue dress to wear

that I will say goodbye to you in

I hope you like it.

My mother wore it before me

and she loves you too,

more than I

 

In forty years I will see you as a shadow

on my heart

I know this

because it happens always

when time spirals up and leaves you

waiting for an angel

 

I hope that you will see me forever

marching up the spirals and someday,

I will choose a step

and I will sit

and the angel will come

and it will be you

 

And I will see the spirals below and say, “Goodbye, I have loved you.”

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